Cake, Ice Cream & a Fire Extinguisher

The NFPA, FDA and AARP came to terms today to finalize a government regulation banning the use of birthday candles for anyone over the age of 55. Under the agreement, AARP has volunteered to distribute the notice to every new member through a flyer titled, "Save Your Breath".

Under laboratory conditions the NFPA was able to melt a cake, ignite a kitchen fire and simulate 3rd degree burns on a mannequin with only 55 candle power. The intensity of the flame and immenent danger was multiplied exponentially with every candle added above the retirement age.

A New England field officer of the National Fire Protection Association reported an instance in Hancock, NH where a 93 year old man was nearly engulfed in flames while attempting to blow out the candles on a cake. Fortunately the man hyperventilated on his 3rd attempt, passed out and fell away from the blaze. The reports indicated the birthday boy only suffered minor bumps and bruises from the fall.

Happy Birthday, Grampy!

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