Pack the Dental Floss

Wouldn't you know that 2 days after I buy a Swiss Army 21" Upright Carry-On, the TSA comes out with a new list of prohibited items making it nearly impossible to travel unless you check your baggage. Damn those terrorist!

I had been traveling with a no name suitcase that was too long to fit in most overhead bins. Rather than risking getting on the plane and having no place to store my bag, I would routinely check my luggage. This easily added 30 minutes of airport time to every trip and made late night arrivals to Hartford early morning returns.

For the last 8 months I debated replacing my dated piece of luggage with a newer slimmer version. I read a lot of ads in the airline travel magazines showcasing streamlined ballistic rolling uprights, but they all retail for $300 or more. In order for me to consider paying three bills for a carry-on it would need to have a horsepower rating.

Tuesday, while shopping at Marshall's for dress socks, I stumbled across a little grey Swiss carry-on for only $59.95. I bought it without hesitation and packed the bag immediately for another road trip. On Tuesday evening I was thinking this was one of my all-time favorite purchases. This bag was going to make me fashionable in the airports, and never again would I waste time standing around the baggage claim area.

On Thursday my dreams where crushed by radical Islamic fundamentalist who evidently figured out how to blow shit up with a tube of toothpaste and some hair gel. I don't know what brand they use, but I know Colgate doesn't even get all the plaque off your teeth.

So here we are today on terror alert Orange (high) and the TSA has stated that "All liquids and gels - including shampoo, toothpaste, perfume, hair gel, suntan lotion and all other items with similar consistency ARE PROHIBITED from carry-on baggage and the security checkpoint."

Well, I am not giving in to these damn radicals. I am going to pack my new carry-on bag without the gels and lotions and stick to clean underwear and fresh socks.

And I'm going to make my hotel reservation with the first chain to offer free toothpaste at check-in. Maybe the Double Tree will replace the freshly baked cookie with a tube of tartar control Crest. We'd all have fewer cavities.