Early Morning Fog
90 degree heat with 100% humidity is in the forecast for the next 4 days. The dog days of August come to Connecticut in June.
I woke early this morning, and having heard whispers of a heat wave, tuned into a local TV station for the forecast. I normally check weather facts on the internet. I am going to stay with that strategy in the future. It took the TV weatherman 5 minutes to give me the forecasted temperature I mentioned in my first sentence.
He showed me charts, indicators of local dew points (64 in Manchester), a hellish glow map of the projected heat index, a visual of regional airflows, defined the term “heat wave”, explained how fog is created, and warned of airport delays. Excited and exuberant, him not me, he gave me everything I needed to know except for the temperature. I just wanted to know if I should put on a t-shirt or a sweatshirt.
He ended the forecast by going to the Live-Cam for a picture of the fog – a gray screen. If your kids ever have a homework assignment to illustrate the meaning of an oxymoron, a picture of fog is a good one.
Immediately after the weather segment, the host of the morning news came on to announce the winner of a trivia contest. The contestant won a Delphi XpressRC XM Satellite Radio, “the first satellite radio with a color split screen”. If your kids ever have a homework assignment to illustrate a 2nd example of an oxymoron, a radio with a color split screen is a good one.
Where were these guys when I had my own homework assignment?
“Mr. Mullen, do you have an example of an oxymoron?”
“Yes, Sister.”
“Well?”
“It’s cold as hell outside!”
“Mr. Mullen, that is not funny. Class, stop laughing. Hell is not something to joke about! Mr. Mullen, unless you are planning on staying after school, I hope you have another example.”
“Uh, would ‘He died so we could live’ count, Sister?”
“Mr. Mullen, please leave the classroom and report to the principal’s office right now!”
I woke early this morning, and having heard whispers of a heat wave, tuned into a local TV station for the forecast. I normally check weather facts on the internet. I am going to stay with that strategy in the future. It took the TV weatherman 5 minutes to give me the forecasted temperature I mentioned in my first sentence.
He showed me charts, indicators of local dew points (64 in Manchester), a hellish glow map of the projected heat index, a visual of regional airflows, defined the term “heat wave”, explained how fog is created, and warned of airport delays. Excited and exuberant, him not me, he gave me everything I needed to know except for the temperature. I just wanted to know if I should put on a t-shirt or a sweatshirt.
He ended the forecast by going to the Live-Cam for a picture of the fog – a gray screen. If your kids ever have a homework assignment to illustrate the meaning of an oxymoron, a picture of fog is a good one.
Immediately after the weather segment, the host of the morning news came on to announce the winner of a trivia contest. The contestant won a Delphi XpressRC XM Satellite Radio, “the first satellite radio with a color split screen”. If your kids ever have a homework assignment to illustrate a 2nd example of an oxymoron, a radio with a color split screen is a good one.
Where were these guys when I had my own homework assignment?
“Mr. Mullen, do you have an example of an oxymoron?”
“Yes, Sister.”
“Well?”
“It’s cold as hell outside!”
“Mr. Mullen, that is not funny. Class, stop laughing. Hell is not something to joke about! Mr. Mullen, unless you are planning on staying after school, I hope you have another example.”
“Uh, would ‘He died so we could live’ count, Sister?”
“Mr. Mullen, please leave the classroom and report to the principal’s office right now!”
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3 comments:
very good use of oxymoron
glad to see the creativity and humor
keep it up
Funny blog today Uncle Moon. Enjoy the heat wave.
I think it is hotter in Connecticut than in Texas...crank up the A/C
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