Driving Mister Daisy

The first war crimes trial of a Gitmo detainee started today, and already the judge has thrown out evidence allegedly coerced from Salim Hamdan. A limo driver for Osama Bin Laden, Salim is accused of being part of the al-Qaida network, or at least helping them out. His lawyers say he was just a driver and mechanic.

I can understand that logic. When I was in the Air Force, I was really just a paper pusher working in the Personnel Department. During basic training we had to qualify on the M-16 rifle by firing 80 rounds and hitting a man-sized target 40 times. I was so bad at gunfire, my target had less than 30 hits while the airman next to me had 90. You could hardly call me a soldier, but I did have the fastest WPM rating of any typist at the CBPO.

So what if they did find 2 surface-to-air missiles in Salim's car at the time of his arrest? What does that prove? People are always misplacing their rockets. Give the guy a break! If Sal says he didn't do it, that is good enough for me.

The New York Times described Mr. Hamdan as a wiry man with a 4th grade education. Ah, the old hungry and stupid defense tactic. When Bin Laden first met him, Salim was probably standing by the roadside holding a sign that read, "Homeless: Will fire rocket launcher for food".

The same article points out Mr. Hamdan only made $200 a month working for Bin Laden. The inference being his level of pay makes him an insignificant figure and likely a guy who just did his job - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Maybe, but they didn't mention in the article that the average Afghan monthly wage is only $30. Or that one third of all Afghans are unemployed. Driving a loaded cab around the countryside doesn't seem like such a bad job after all, even if it doesn't have a GPS system.

"Take a left after that 2nd pile of rocks."

"But Boss, there ain't no road on the map for another 6 miles."

"Just do it....and forget I ever told you where to turn. You hear me, you 4th grade imbecile?"

"Hear you what, Boss? I didn't see no 2nd pile of rocks. No sir, I ain't even seen a rock today, Boss Man. Any of you other guys see any rocks? Nope, last rock I saw..."

"Alright already, enough with the rocks - just drive! And stop calling me, Boss!"