Planet of the Apes

I watched a fascinating documentary last night titled Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed. In it Ben Stein explores the not so subtle movement in the science and academic communities to silence free thinkers questioning the validity of Darwinism. In particular those scientist espousing the idea of intelligent design have often found themselves banned from scientific journals or fired from their jobs.

Intelligent design is a scientific theory that says certain features of the universe and living things are best explained by intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection. In contrast to Darwinism, it leaves open the possibility of divine intervention (God) in explaining the source of life. And while the evolutionist believe they have a scientific case of human life evolving from other species, none could answer the question of how it all began. Most when asked whether God could have played a role in the creation of life scoffed at the mere idea of the existence of any kind of god. One of the most vocal scientist against intelligent design is an ardent atheist who wrote a best selling book proclaiming God is a mere fantasy. He and his kind are the same people writing the science curriculum for our public schools - scary.

I'd love to get in on the debate, but given I flunked both Intro to Zoology and Biology 1 in college, I'd run out of ammo in a hurry. Thank God for Ben Stein.

One question I have is, if at one time man evolved from an ape, how come it isn't still happening? An estimated 2,000,000 people visit the Bronx Zoo every year and in my 50 years on earth I've never heard of a story of an chimp calling out from the Monkey House to a passerby, "Psst, hey fella, you got a smoke?" No stories from Baboon Reserve of a primate text messaging relatives at the San Diego Zoo. No photos of a gorilla in the Congo Forest putting on a pair of pants. Nothing. I don't get it.

As for the atheist, another thought to ponder courtesy of Father Benedict Groeschel - when was the last time you saw atheist band together to build a hospital? Okay, so they haven't built any hospitals or funded and staffed any social service agencies, but do they come together during times of disaster to provide aid to other highly evolved suffering humans? No.

That's it. I'm done for today. Amen.

Aspirations

Ayva has charted a career path. Only "free" years old, she already wants to be a hairdresser.

Hairdresser. Sounds a little sexist, I know. You'd think coming off a Presidential election where the boundaries of possibility were torn down she'd want to be a Senator from Massachusetts. But no, Ayva wants to cut hair.

Her mom cuts hair. In fact when she comes to Connecticut she often gives Julie and Jessica a trim. Ayva has been watching and she loves her Mom so much, she has all the motions down pat. Imitation is the finest form of flattery.

Hey, wait a minute. Maybe Ayva just really loves her mom? Yeah, I think that's it.

Okay, so she still might grow up to be a Senator from Massachusetts.

Dressed to the Nines

I made friends today with a handsome old drake. Wintering on a frozen pond in Connecticut instead of basking in the Florida sunshine, he was looking for a bite to eat. I gave him and his girlfriend a handful of dry cereal.

"He likes it! Hey, Mikey!"

Inscribed on Every Heart

A few weeks ago I was talking with my brother about life.  Each 50+ years into our own,  we were discussing where we've been and where we'd like to go in what at times seems to be a non-sensical journey.  Moments of joy and love offset by anxiety and sorrow, life is a kaleidoscope of emotions.

As I suffered a moment of temporary despair, Joe asked me what brought me happiness?  With apologies to my family, I told him going to Mass.  Not to worry guys, coming in 2nd place to The Man is a good thing!

So here are a few things I love about the Catholic Mass:

Holy Smokes - the more incense the better.  There is something mystical about the wisps of smoke rising above the altar and carrying our prayers and intentions towards God.   

Continuity - the prayer Kyrie Eleison (mercy) is 1500 years old and the Gloria was penned in the 2nd century.  I just love tradition.

Spirits in the House - at each Mass the church is filled with the angels and saints.  Once in a great while I can feel their presence as if a light current of electricity is flowing through my body.  Julie calls them "walk throughs".

Beliefs - no mincing words on Sunday.  In a 60 second declaration we stand up and tell you what we believe not what we feel.  It's the Catholic elevator pitch!

Family Reunion - we pray for the dead at Mass.  I get to speak with Papa, Nana, Uncle Bob, Aunt Mary, sister Mary, and Grandma Cross every Sunday.

God Speaks to Me - the Gospel is the Living Word of Jesus Christ.  I can hear it year after year and through my own experiences the Word changes and brings me new ways to look at life.  New ways to live life.  The right way to live life.

My Brother's Keeper - I love pitching my weekly envelope into the offertory basket.  Giving frees my soul from the bondage of greed.  It's an act to go along with the words to insure the echos of my beliefs don't ring hollow.

Peaceful - through a simple handshake or kiss on the cheek we remind each other of Christ's call to love one another and live in peace.  It's a hectic world outside the bronze doors of the chapel, but for the moment we come together.  People look into each other's eyes, each other's soul and it is beautiful.

Prayer for the Ages - not sure how to pray to God?  Just say the Our Father.  Jesus taught us the prayer so we could pray to God as he prayed to the Father.  Please God, forgive me my trespasses.  I promise to forgive those who trespass against me;  they don't really mean it anyways.

John the Baptist - I love John the Baptist.  A ragged man of strength, he spoke what he knew to be the truth without any hesitation.  He's the kind of guy who would've taken on the schoolyard bully.  Just prior to Communion you can hear him call out once again, "This is the Lamb of God!"

The Eucharist - presented to us as the real body and blood of Christ through the transubstantiation, we come into full communion with God and each other.  And not just with those present at our Mass but with those all over the world called to the altar by the same voice.  In communion with all the souls and saints who came before us and all who've yet to come.  We are one body.  Mind blowing.

Is it Sunday yet?  I need to work on being a daily communicant!

Peace be with you.

 

Loving Life

CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR FULL VIEW

Last week Julie and I joined a few friends to invade Washington D.C. for the annual March for Life on the Mall. There is always a good bit of debate about the number of people in attendance, but through the view of my camera I noticed a whole lot of folks showed up this year to say a prayer for God's gift to us all - life. As always, a great crowd filled with lovely people.

Once again, no hecklers although I did have a D.C. policeman yell at me to "get off the curb now!" I couldn't quite understand the issue with walking on the curb to get around the marching mob for a photo, but I did as he said...after taking about 4 more steps. Ha!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Seen Everywhere

I was in Washington D.C. mid-week just after the inauguration. I missed all of the hoopla and celebrations but in looking over the aftermath, it must have been one heck of a party. There was an army of public works employees working diligently to take down fencing, disassemble grandstands and finish picking up the trash. They had a ways to go.

All around the city were posters, signs and banners of Barrack Obama, either wishing him well or congratulating him on becoming the 44th President of the United States of America. I can't recall in my lifetime ever seeing so much public propaganda for one person as I've seen for Barrack Obama. Elvis may finally be dead.

Wednesday afternoon the inauguration vendors were in the streets hawking the last "official" Obama swearing in t-shirts. I thought about buying one.

"Say there fella, I noticed you were selling Obama t-shirts for only $5 bucks while everyone else is asking $20 dollars. Are these "official" t-shirts?"

"Well, I can't say they is official but they definitely authentic! How many you want my man, two...three...four?"

"They do seem authentic although the image on the front of the t-shirt doesn't quite look like Barrack Obama. Did he really say, 'Dy-no-mite!' at the inauguration?"

"Hell, my man, everybody got them other t-shirts wid da cocked head and big ass smile. Go head and spend $20 bucks and sees what I care! Shit, plenty of folk been buying my shirts cause they shows a different side ain't no one seen of Obama."

"Would that be the Good Times side?"

"There you go my brother, now you gettin it! I'm in for a good time, you in for a good time, she in for a good time...that dude over there, he in for a real good time. We all in for a good time. Dy-no-mite! Now, how many shirts you buying?"

"Ah, I guess I'll just get the one."

"You got it, my man. How bout a Michele Obama shirt to go wid it?"

"Wait a minute! Since when did they start calling her 'Weezie'?"

Moving Forward

It's a good day to be an American.

Guidepost

Sometimes I think I spend too much time watching life go by. Nathaniel and Mimi just jump right in! I gotta follow their lead.

Contrarian

The semi-annual FBI crime report came out this month and by a small margin we are a more civil society today than we were six months ago. That's nice. Violent crime is down 3.5%, arson 5.6% and property crimes 2.5%. The people of the West and Midwest improved by larger margins, but us hoodlums in the Northeast dragged down the national average with an increase in uncivil acts.

Factors influencing the crime rate include the socio-economic conditions of employment, education levels, family structure, age of the population and depth of police presence. Yeah, I get it:

• Lots of jobs - check.
• Higher education levels - check.
• Mom, pop & kids - check.
• More mature community - check, but boring!
• Larger police department - check?

What we need are more coppers, see! Feet on the street walking the beat. Really? Nah!

In my town (not giving it away on this post) we have a 55 person police force. I was poking around the municipal website looking for stats when I noticed the police department photo gallery including historic images. It was interesting to note the annual department photo grew from 17 officers in 1965 to 40 in 2000 and over 50 today.

I'm not a big fan of big police departments. Andy, Barney and a couple of deputies would be sufficient for me. Today's policemen are too militant and have a lousy sense of fairness. Our finest regularly hide in a church parking lot at the bottom of a hill waiting to hand out speeding tickets. The street has a steep enough pitch that unless you throw the car into low gear, you'll coast past the radar gun at 50 mph. For the cops it's like shooting deer at a salt lick.

All he wanted was to pick up a gallon of milk and the weekend edition of the newspaper. John Doe hopped in the car, forgot to buckle up, drove down the road with a coffee in his left hand, cellphone in the other while steering with his knees. Despite having no foot on the peddle Mr. Doe picked up speed like a runaway train. 50 in a 35 - speeding, no seat belt, operating a cellphone hands full instead of hands free and insulting a police officer.

Come on, you guys. While you're writing up Mr. Rogers the hardened criminals are getting away. No wonder the Northeast is bringing up the rear in the FBI report.

Tortured Topic

Gitmo is in the news today and not because it's about to close. No, instead we are back on the topic of torture. More specifically, the detainee know as 9/11's 20th hijacker coughed up information on our enemies only after we subjected him to loud music, nudity and sleep deprivation. They took him on a Cabo San Lucas pub crawl?

Seriously, our own military judge gave the guy a pass because she felt we crossed the line on torture. I always thought of torture as electric prods or pulling out a fingernail or two. Can you imagine Dr. Szell dropping the Victrola needle on a 45 rpm of Smoke on the Water instead of drilling holes in Dustin Hoffman's teeth? Marathon Man never would have made it to the Top 10 Suspense Movies of All-Time, but I'd be much more comfortable sitting in a dentist chair.

So maybe water boarding is over the top, but how do you think it compares with your mother washing out your mouth with soap for swearing? And has anyone talked you into doing the sinus flush? Now that is torture.

Maybe we should be more lenient in our approach. Anybody know what techniques Colonel Klink and Sergeant Schultz favored on Hogan's Heroes? We all seemed to like that show.

Change We Need

You know, during the election I wasn't a big fan of the whole "change" message, but I'm coming around. Today Timothy Geithner, Obama's selection to head the Treasury, admitted to underpaying $34,000 in taxes from 2001-2004. If confirmed by the Senate, in his new role, Mr. Geithner would oversee the IRS among other things.

I like Timmy. I've had my own tax problems so I understand how complicated it can be to get it right. Last year I couldn't figure out the calculations of the home office deduction. The year before I messed up on early withdrawal (my IRA you pervert), and the year before that I totally misunderstood the mechanics of a stock option transaction. Thank God for the IRS. They picked up on all my mistakes and corrected each of my returns. Just prior to the next filing period they sent me a neatly packaged recap of what I filed v what I was supposed to file and computed the net difference, interest and late fees. The IRS should get into the business of preparing tax returns; they are really good at it.

Some of you might think I am poking fun at the nomination of Timothy Geithner. After all, wouldn't you want the guy heading up the IRS to be capable of filling out an accurate tax return? Yes, you would, but if we are advocating for change we need a guy like us on the inside. A guy who can't figure out the current tax code and goes in and re-writes the whole damn thing. We need people with a fresh perspective.

Hopefully the Republicans won't start a ruckus over the appointment. They must know that if they call out Timmy as a tax delinquent now just because he has been appointed to head the Treasury, Americans will see this as sour grapes. And God forbid the Democrats should skip the excuses and ask Barrack to send up another candidate who did pay his/her taxes. Who has time for that? We've got to get on with the changes.

P.S. Rumors are already swirling the new Surgeon General is a chain smoker and the Secretary of Defense is a conscientious objector.

Blowhards

Storm Carlos rolled across the state of Connecticut last night and left a whopping 4 inches of snow. Predicted to dump up to a foot of snow in higher elevations, Carlos petered out before daybreak. Who would name a snowstorm Carlos anyways? Storm Finn, yes. Storm Boris, yes. Storm Carlos, no.

The local television station warned people for days about the coming blizzard. You can use a broom to dust off 5 inches of fluffy snow. Even 10 inches doesn't call for a snow blower.

Last night as the flakes began to fall, the Hartford CBS station interrupted the NFL playoff game to tell us the flakes had begun to fall and we could expect the greatest accumulation to take place after midnight. After midnight as in when I am sleeping? After midnight as in after the playoff football game you just interrupted is over?

"The roads will be slickest between midnight and 3 a.m. this morning, so if you don't have to travel overnight, stay off the roads. Accumulation could be as high as 12 inches by morning or if Carlos keeps up at the current pace, we will have cried 'wolf' one more time!"

Besides interrupting a perfectly good game with news just outside my own living room window, WFSB insisted on providing a rolling display of community events on the bottom 3rd of the screen. On one critical play the ball was jarred loose from the runner and as I followed the bouncing pigskin....The East Windsor Volunteer Fire Department Bingo was cancelled.

We really are getting soft.

Looking Eastward

Christmas officially comes to an end on this Sunday with the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.

We'll taking down the Christmas tree, blowing out the candle lights and packing away the snow globe for another year. As tough as the economic conditions were this year, we had a beautiful Christmas spiritually. The season felt just right to me.

Heading into the new year, our compass is pointing in the right direction. We plan on taking weekly readings to keep us on target. Come along with us if you like. We could always use a watchman to look for impending storms.

Impetuous

1977 - Followed a dream.

Together Julie we can live with the sadness, I'll love you with all the madness in my soul.

We headed west to Oscoda, MI - born to run - made it just in time for the Holland Tulip Festival.

Fast forward to 2009 and a pair of 50 year olds - chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line... tramps like us, baby we were born to run - fire in my belly again.

Driving to or driving away from?

Don't Forget the Gold Watch

President Bush only has 13 days 12 hours 45 minutes and 18 seconds left in office. Less by the time you read my blog - thank you by the way. I know this because there is actually a website

that has been tracking his exit and selling countdown clocks since 2005. I have a hard time counting down the days until Christmas from year to year never mind flipping a presidential calendar for 4 years.

Poor President Bush. In 8 years he's ruled over a lifetime of catastrophes - hanging chads, 9-11, Hurricane Katrina, the wars on terrorism, financial collapse and flying loafers. Can't you just hear the national chant?

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Not to worry, my friend George now only has 13 days 12 hours 21 minutes and 46 seconds left in office (I'm a slow thinker). But for some the "oops, out of time" moment can't come quick enough. Obama hasn't even been sworn in and some are crying because his family couldn't move into the White House early to coincide with the girl's school schedule. What happened to the spartan D.C. apartment they told us about during the campaign? Before the vote he was just a common guy like you and me. Patience people, the Mayflower truck is at the door.

I don't know what time it is in Al-Qaidaland, but they aren't waiting for the inauguration. Today Fearless Leader released a tape blaming President-elect Obama for Israel's offensive on Hamas. And I quote, "He kills your brothers and sisters in Gaza mercilessly and without affection." Oh yeah, things are really going to change.

"AL-LEL-LEL-LEL-LEL-LEL-LEL-LEL! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Hey wait a minute! You mean to tell me this wasn't President Bush's fault? Al-Qaida, fair and balanced.

13 days 11 hours 58 minutes and 16 seconds.

Going Back to the Horse & Buggy

Julie and I have been holed up in our home with the flu and stomach bug going on a week. Did you know there is a difference between the two? The official flu doesn't have anything to do with your digestive system. If you have the chills, a fever, sore muscles and a pounding head you've got the flu. If you are vomiting or have the trots, it's a gastric something or other. So much for the flu shot.

Well anyways, on the only day Julie did venture out last week it was snowing pretty hard. She was stopped at an intersection waiting for the light to turn and a guy plowed into the back of her. This is the 2nd time in 3 months the poor lady has been rear ended. The whiplash was a nice compliment to the flu...and stomach bug.

Juls is a little gun shy about stepping back into the car. Who could blame her? Does anyone know a chiropractor who'll make a house call? I'll pay the difference between the rack rate and the insurance network discount.

P.S. It's a sunny day here in Vernon and I just went outside to find a small black cloud over our house. If I said life is good in the last 30 days I'm taking it back!